Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over my problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God’s will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity.
This was the topic at a recent meeting. While it was being read, I instantly thought of my son, Charlie "Warly" who is seven months old. Shortly before he came into our lives I told God that I was willing to do whatever He wanted in regards to me having more childern or not. I told Him that I had no idea what His will was for me and I would do whatever it was. If that was to have more children that would be great;but, I was going to need a lot of help from Him and if I was to be the mom of sweet little Claire and she was to be an only child that that was OK too and that I’d still need a lot of help from Him. I really had no idea what I was to do. I’m a planner and I never have been able to plan children. I know God is funny that way!
With my daughter we tried all kinds of things including infertility treatments and adoption applications and had decided that God wanted us to be happy without children and then…SURPRISE! A sweet baby girl!
After her birth, I wasn’t sure if I could have more children and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to or should. Part of me was afraid to get my hopes up again and part of me was afraid of beeing greedy or messing up what I already had. There also was an unexpected brain tumor and surgery thrown in there as well. So after years of thinking and figuring and praying and wondering I got to the point where after a yoga class one day I was lying on my back on the floor feeling the sun on my body looking at the clouds and I just said, “I’m willing! Whatever it is Lord, I’ll do it;but, please help me out as you know more than I that I have no idea what I’m doing and I will need a lot of help!”
A few months and one miscarraige later, I was pregnant again and my baby boy was born in July of this past year. So Charlie is all about willingness to me. My worries and fears were powerfully transformed allowing God’s will to be manifested in my life.